i used to consider myself quite far apart from the older cousins. i’m used to hanging out with the smaller ones. i always feel wanted by the kids. *well, that’s the secret why i am loved by all the seniors’ children. hehe.

but hey, since i stepped into the united states. i realized that i started to be closer with the elder ones. and the ones of same age. okay, none of them is of the same age, but some of them are of the same batch! as of before, i kinda feel excluded, but now, i feel like i’m one of them~ it’s so happy to feel that way. ^_^ i am no good at talking with elder people. so, hint hint! saya tak boleh ngorat mak mertua. hahaha, :p so, i just have to take the heart of the bf, so that he’ll fight for me. hahaha. mashi je boleh ngorat mak mertua. mashi terer cakap ngan mak mak ni. :p hihihi.

well, yes. they started to chat with me. they sent me messages asking if i were okay. telling me what they are up to. and stuff like that. sometimes, it’s nice when people treat you as grown up. ^_^ but i just don’t know how to make them treat me that way. i just know how to play with the children and be one of them. for example, alia called me to her room; let’s dance! haha. or. abie took my hand; let’s watch snow white together!

it feels so cute sometimes.

but sometimes, i feel like i wanna be THE grown up. it feels so mature? but i just don’t know how to act like one.
i’m over sensitive. over dependent. over reacting. i just don’t know how to be mature.

but i still love the way my cousins treat me now. i hope that it’ll stay the same when i’m back for summer holidays. then, i can hang out with them. chit chat. laughed at the same jokes. and stuff instead of going to the guys’ room and play ps3 with them. then, the kids would come and pushed me and conquered the game.and the others would asked me to jump on the bed with them. * and no, the bed didn’t break. HAHA.

not that i don’t like doing all that,
but…. well, you know what i mean.

sometimes, i need some changes.

sometimes, i got tired of how people treat me.

sometimes, i’m tired acting like i don’t care.

and sometimes, i give up. and i really don’t care anymore.

i’m tired being the one who chases things.

with that, i’m retreating myself….

ayah was worried. ayah opened the tv and saw the news on the winter storm at my place. i love it when people i love care about me. hee. and my teacher emailed me too. asking if i were okay since there’s a very bad winter storm in my place. kaklong left me a comment in my fb, asing me to be careful.

tak sangka, like when they saw the news they were thinking of me. hee.
org lain look at the news, igt x kat aisya? *kelip kelip mata*
btw, i got associated dean letter in my hse. -.-” okayy, not yet a dean’s list. but will be, soon, okay?
this, i promise you.

^_^ geeees.

i’m looking forward for sumthing. but i won’t be telling everyone yet. well, you’ll know bout it if things do happen how i thought it would. love love love is all around. hearts and kisses! weeeeeeeeee~

since i’m in the searching of a piano. (or probably would end up with a keyboard)
i suddenly remembered when i first started playing it.

one day, mama suddenly asked arah.
“do you wanna play piano? it’ll help in coordination. and it’ll help your i-don’t-know-right-or-left brain. *maybe both?*.”
i was like. whatttttttttt?
then mama said that she’s going to buy her a piano.
it was soo cool! and i was totally jealous.

well, obviously. almost everything i do, arah does, too. we played gymrama together and stuff. and i’m this jealous lil girl. i can’t let her know how to play piano when i don’t. so, i begged mama that i wanted to play, too.
“maaa, it’s not fairrr!”
“you don’t have time. it’s pmr next year! and you’ll be going to the boarding school the next year. when r u going to practice then?”
“but i wanna play piano, too! :(”
“there’s no time…”

then i cried~ *i know. i’m spoiled.*
i cried when i don’t get what i want. but no worries, i won’t be over sensitive to people i’m not closed to. :p i would only be over sensitive to those who i know love me or close to me. ^_^ haha, until sume pun tensyen dgn aisya. :p sorryyyyy, yee? haha. *innocent look* or else, i will be controlling myself and act as if i don’t care what you think or like i don’t hear anything or as if i’m not jealous of people who are close to my close friends.
so, i cried and cried and cried.

then, mama was like. okay, okay.
and i ended up joining the piano classes.
but true, what my mama has said. i won’t be able to do much with it.
but it was still a success i guess? i mean, at least, i know how to read notes. and in just one year and a few months, i was able to reach grade 3~ that’s an achievement kan? and if i practice a lot, i believe that i can juz be the same like my other friends in grade 8, or those music majors who their achievements are based on pieces.

mama, nanti aisya balik. aisya mainkan lagu untuk mama kay?
mama suke lagu apee? slain dari yang arah dah maen untuk mama taw.. :p

p.s - the snow today will reach 20 - 30 inches. God knows how thick that is! i can’t even go out! it was super thick and it blocks my door. we tried pusing the door, but it was like.. whoaa. this is too heavy! and accidentally left the shovel outside. so i can’t really push the snow awayy. and according to kak jeeta, “this is like illinois!! haven’t seen this kind of snow here.” shane said once, “we get the worst of both world. the super hotness, and the super coldness. that’s maryland.” haha.

:p tapi arah pun kuat jeles jgak. aisya dpt camera dari kaklong, arah pun nk camera dari kaklong. :p aisya dapat dress dari kaklong, arah pun nak. :p kaklong mmg syg aisya kan kaklongg? haha, pastu arah kutuk2 baju kebaya aisya yg cantik and sexy. haha, pastu arah mintak aisya nak baju tu. pastu arah dapat best dress. xD hahaha. oh God, rindu sume orang.

this watch is TOTALLY COOL! AWESOME!

i tried searching for this watch online to find the price but couldn’t find one. probably it’s new? ahhhh. cool gle if i have one. it’s considered as the geeks-must-have. haha! tak kesa la, i don’t mind being a geek if being a geek makes me a genius! and wld make me look elegant. and. well, everything! aaaaaaaahhh. oh God, oh God. i really want to have the watch! i really neeeed to have this watch! gile cool.

A MUST-HAVE!
before balik msia in 4 years time, kne dah beli watch ni dah. *well, i’m guessing that the price is COOL too. :p kne simpan duit la mcm ni. hahaha.*
or ade sape2 baek nak bagi tak? *wt muke comel2*
bday pressie ke. emm. good academic performance pressie ke. emm. jadi-budak-baik pressie ke. (this is specially dedicated to my ayah. ayah, aisya baik kan tahun lepas. aisya bole la dapat adiah bdak baik kan. kan. ) sje2 nk bgi pressie ke. :p (ni spe2 pn bole. haha)

p.s - if u can’t buy me a lamborghini, buy me this watch. i would totally love you. haha.

is coming out tomorrow!

but.. sadly, it’s going to snow. and probably, real bad. even the class is probably going to close or ends early. :-S

why does it always snow during the weekends?
plz. next time. choose weekdays.
i wld have more holidays then! haha.

i wanted to watch dear john. with marie. too many plans have been cancelled becuz of the snow.

oh, and talia invited me to play ddr in virginia some day.

and i’ll be going to some dance performance outside. (it costs a LOT!.. 87 usd. goshhh!)
lots of going out this semester i guess?

ohh. and my close friend in chemistry class is a music major! she plays piano! she plays beethoven and.. (i dun really know the others she mentioned. :p but, must have been popular ones.) i told her i learned piano too. just til grade 3, though. :p and never really practiced that much. til lately. hve been feeling like wanting to play the piano. n beginning to feel more motivated bcuz i wanted to play some pieces to someone. she asked me what do i play. and i just laughed. and she asked again. haha. :”> so, i just knew that dance major don’t go by grades. they go by pieces. the piece gets harder by time.

surprisingly, it’s getting easier to make friends! and i found more topics to talk about.

even in my dance class. a friend of mine asked me to do a performance on malaysian traditional dance. i told her, most of our dances require quite a number of people. and there are only 3 of us here.
hey, maybe next semester? kamil is coming. and probably some other agricultural majors from intec! more more more. and there’s the ‘diversity’ that malaysians are proud of!
i really can’t wait for that moment!
she asked me to talk to the people from china and india. since there are a large number of them here! (i told her about the diversity we have.) it really is nice if we have a performance of our own kan? probably during the international night? *haha. though among all malaysians here, (aisya, mashi ngn acap je. haha. plus kak jeeta. but kak jeeta maybe bz with phd?) i can’t imagine acap dance. HAHAHAHA. HAHAHAHA. :p okay, x ktwa. hahahahahaha* but it would be totally nice klau ALL OF US dapat menari same2. tunjuk kat diorg kan.

next sem, kte buat malaysian students association tau!
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa~
sukenyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

p.s - so just don’t give up if it’s hard to make friends when u first arrive to a new place. u need to adapt to the new surroundings first. and when time passed, u’ll find urself mingling around just well. and u’ll suddenly find urself laughing hardly and giggling in the lecture that everyone was looking at you. ahhhhh. i feel soo much like i’m home now.

i’m home, babehhhh. xD

but malaysia is still where the heart is.